I am pretty laid back and chill as a teacher. I do not ask a lot of you being that you go to a technical college. It has nothing to do with you attending a technical school but being that I am a liberal arts teacher, it would be naïve of me to actually think you cared about my class.
I try to make the class fun and entertaining and much rather you participate in a good discussion topic rather than load you up with homework that A.) you probably won’t do, B.) Bullshit your way through the assignment or C.) do it right before class.
With that being said, there are a few things I would like to point out in order for you to get the most out of my class or at least pass my class so I don’t have to see you again the following semester.
1. I do not assign a lot of work, so when I do, do not insult my intelligence and do less than what is required. 400-500 words means 400-500 words. It does not mean change the font and size. I did not ask for a page or 2 pages. I specified 400-500 words. Changing the font and the size of the text doesn’t change how many words you type as well. It also doesn’t trick me into thinking you wrote more than you actually did. I can look at your paper and tell you the font you are using as well as the size you are utilizing as well. You are not smarter than me and you are not pulling one past me. If you don’t do the requirement word count, you will not get not receive full credit. Do not come up to me and ask me why you didn’t receive full credit. I wrote it out on your paper. Maybe you should learn to read while you learn how to follow instructions. You cannot argue over word count and I don’t care if you didn’t know it was short. You can either hand count the words or use the handy dandy word counter in word. I know… Amazing!!!
2. Please do not talk while I am talking. Not only is it rude, but you disrupt your class mates’ learning as well. Yes, I understand that my class is a gen. ed. Class but it is required and I did major in the subject I am teaching and if you could shut your mouth for a second, you would notice that we discuss a variety of topics that you will learn from this class. What’s that? Your math assignment is more important than participation in my class discussion? Oh my bad, silly me. For a minute, I was thinking I taught sociology. Next time, I will try to incorporate a 15 minute study session for your other classes during my class time. Thank you for being inconsiderate.
3. This goes along with number 2. My class is not for you to catch up on your English paper and math assignments. Yes, I do realize that those teachers give you homework but the reason why you don’t have a lot of homework in my class is due to class participation during my class. How can you participate when you are writing your narrative for your next class? I have no problem assigning more homework or incorporating the journal back into class. If you can’t follow simple instructions, then how are you going to last in the real world? If you continue to think that my class is just a study break for all your other classes, I will assign research papers in APA format as well as stopping group tests. These tests will not be open book and no, I will not hand out a study guide. And yes, everything in the book is open season whether I discuss it or not. Oh, I am being unfair you say? Well I didn’t realize teaching sociology during sociology was a hinder to your schedule. I apologize.
4. No cell phones mean NO CELL PHONES. It doesn’t mean you can sneak a peek every once and a while and try to conceal the fact that you are texting under the table. Yes, I understand that I am blonde and may appear to be stupid because when I get excited I sound like a valley girl or laugh entirely way too much. But let me reassure you that I am not as stupid as I may look. While you are working on an associates degree, I have 2 bachelors that I have a concentration in criminology and a minor in chemistry. And let’s not forget my masters. I have accomplished most of the stunts you are so ingeniously trying to achieve. Please do not insult me by looking at me like my request for you to put away your phone is absurd. I know you are on it so don’t act like you don’t have it out. You aren’t sly. You can’t multitask with your eyes. Class time is not the time to converse with your friends. Our class is only 90 minutes long and 95% of the time, we don’t even go that long. I am sure you can refrain from texting or playing your game for an hour. If needed, I can be a nazi and remove you from class if it is a problem.
5. If class starts at 9am, class starts at 9am. Not 9:01 or 9:15. 9:00am. While I don’t mind chatting it up while I take role or discuss how the weekend was, it doesn’t give you the green light to talk amongst yourselves and have a whole new conversation on your own. If I am standing up front not talking or doing anything but staring at you ramble on in your incoherent dialect, it means shut the fuck up. It doesn’t mean look at me and continue talking. Oh you were talking about how drunk you got last night or how your wife pissed you off? Well by all means continue since getting sloshed at the hole-in-the wall bar you go to is completely relevant to our chapter.
6. If you can’t take it don’t dish it out. This is pretty simple. You make a rude comment to me, I will return the favor but mine will be better. I am far smarter and just plain better than you. I am quick and witty and you will lose. Period. So don’t get upset when I put you in your place. You are an idiot and you deserve it.
7. I understand there might be errors on the test and I thank you for letting me know. However, being a cocky bastard is not the way to go about it. I type extremely fast, so forgive me if I don’t catch my typo. I might understand if it was a blatant spelling mistake, but they are not. The errors are so miniscule. For example, I put “not” instead of “note”. I understand how such an error can change a sentence or make a sentence not make sense but it really isn’t hard to get the jist of what the sentence is about. There is no need to laugh hysterically over the error and inform me like you just out smarted me. You haven’t and you never will. Being a complete jackass about it won’t make me feel stupid. It will, however, backfire on you to where you look like the idiot. I am human and do make mistakes. The error you found on the test does not show my incompetence or how stupid I actually am. It does however, prove how moronic you are. Asking me if I meant note instead of not is appropriate. Laughing and mocking me while saying “this sentence doesn’t make sense”, “how can you make that mistake hah ahaha”, “I think what you are trying to say”, and so forth are not appropriate. If you want we can bring out your reaction papers and go through how grammatically incorrect most of your sentences are.
8. Inappropriate sexual comments towards me are unacceptable. Furthermore, if you are failing my class, do not come up to me and ask if you can make it up to me in other ways. You can’t even pass my class, what makes me think your performance will excel expectations in other areas?
Just keep these in mind and class will be great.
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